Monday, 22 August 2016

Obeying the Highly Serious Senior Security Guards, Moderators, Monitors and Beadles

Throughout Villa Twaklinilkawt, there is a low-key approach to security.  The low keys are, in fact, kept in a low-profile box, which itself is locked.  For added security, the low-profile box is kept in a locked, nondescript cabinet in a locked room in the service wing.

Though many areas of the villa are locked mainly for reasons of privacy and efficiency, it is easy for an inadequately educated, ill-mannered visitor to get into trouble, even in the unlocked areas.  Observing and obeying obligations in relation to security, safety, hygiene and other social niceties should not require a reasonably enlightened and courteous guest to require excessive supervision.

A beadle is often on hand either at the invisible ticket office or at the post-consumerist gift store to take formerly self-guided visitors by the hand and lead them gently into the ethereal observation tower along the Twaklinilkawtian corridor.

A monitor at the compassion reception desk on the ground floor of the ethereal observation tower is likely to be on hand.  That person has been trained to lend a hand to anyone experiencing difficulty finding the lost proper tea office.

Getting into trouble is common for visitors on their explorations through Twaklinesque long galleries A and/or B.  Even before getting that far, many visitors require monitoring in the courtyard of compassion.  Empathy is often related to security.

Many members of the Adelaide (Adagia) team have been trained in security work, moderation and monitoring.  Although privacy is always to be respected, covert surveillance by the team, with the surreptitious assistance of the highly serious senior security guards, usually extends far beyond the boundaries of Villa Twaklinilkawt, into the ethereal neighbourhood and the wider world.

Several hours before a new visitor arrives at the entrance to the grand hallway, a background report about that person will be carried down the winding corridor by one of the monitors and placed on the news desk.
Anyone visiting the parlour meant for you will already be expected to know the enlightened rules of moderation.  Anyone insufficiently aware of those rules will be provided with information about booking a seat in the room for remedial etiquette.

Security measures are particularly tight for anyone researching in the main digital archive.   There are monitors on hand in that archive, and in the vaults under the hallway, to identify, block and prosecute intellectual property thieves and other ill-mannered persons.

Monitors are available to assist the concierge when supervising anyone's explorations through the main science studio.  Anyone involved in any work associate with Villa Twaklinilkawt requires a basic understanding of science, particularly in relation to safety.

Preventing the wrong sort of people from gaining privileged access is the highest priority for all the Villa Twaklinilkawt monitors and beadles.  Most of the beadles are also trained as parlour supervisors and sometimes even as supervisors of the natural common room.  Everyone involved in the work here is required to be multi-skilled.

The monitors and beadles, but not necessarily the moderators, are involved in supervising many of the maintenance arrangements in and around the villa.   All beadles were once monitors. 

Beadles are likely to intercept anyone seeking access to beautiful views, to ensure those persons are not up to no good.  Interrogations by the beadles are usually courteous, at least in front of other people.  Monitors are not permitted to interrogate anyone, though they will ask polite questions from time to time.

Monitors are on hand in or near all the Villa Twaklinilkawt pavilions.  They have even been trained to answer questions about viewing the apparitional pavilion.

Beadles have been trained to take ordinary visitors around the poetic Twaklinian potting shed.  Moderators have been trained to take celebrity visitors wherever they are permitted to go.

Anyone gaining access to the celebrity visitor's centre will be especially carefully monitored.   Justifiably high profile visitors will have an attachment of six highly serious senior security guards assigned for their protection.

Immoderate and/or untalented visitors, including those with an excessive mass media profile and/or investment portfolio, will be expected to provide their own security, under the supervision of one of the Villa Twaklinilkawt moderators.  Please expect to pay a considerable sum for this privilege.

Monitors supervise observations from the chancellery in the absence of the chancellor.  Monitors also supervise the citizen-journalism in the Adelaidezone news observatory in the absence of the editor.

Security officers monitor and challenge anyone observing the administrative and curatorial offices.  Only the moderators are permitted to observe entry to the music room, the boudoir, the salon and the room for celebration.  After all, they are the main persons who assist the proprietor with guest lists.

The moderators, many of whom are former beadles, spend much of their time compiling lists of persons of quality.  They also compile other lists, of persons of lesser worth.  The latter persons are usually prevented from attaining non-digital access to Villa Twaklinilkawt.

The moderators are meant to supervise the security guards, beadles and monitors though they usually delegate those tasks to the senior beadles and Adelaidean guides.   The moderators are also meant to manage and supervise the training of supervisors in many areas of Villa Twaklinilkawt, though much of the training and supervision is carried out by beadles. 

The moderators have been highly involved in compiling and conveying the official history of Villa Twaklinilkawt.  Understanding history is essential for anyone wishing to gain a proper understanding of security.

The highly serious senior security guards supervise all potentially disruptive activities in sensitive areas of the villa, such as during renovations of the investigative unit and when preparing for big events.  They usually know what to do with anyone seeking to enter the corridors of power and the fenced-off conservation areas.

A security guard is likely to intercept anyone looking through the keyhole of a storage shed, unless a monitor or beadle or tour guide has intercepted the person first.

There are usually several highly knowledgeable and somewhat anxious security guards on duty in the ethereal coaching coach house and climate stability stables.  They are more than willing to answer scientific and philosophical questions.  They are also willing to provide evidence for their answers, should anyone ask.

Please note that at least 85% of the highly serious senior security guards in Villa Twaklinilkawt are likely to be Nilkawtian secret service agents.  None of the inadequately serious and somewhat lazy security guards are likely to be Nilkawtians, though no-one can be quite sure about that.